You Do Not Truly Know Someone Until You Workout With Them
Today there are more ways to meet people than ever before. And yet truly getting to know someone is harder than it’s ever been.
You wouldn’t think so, what with our lives plastered on social media like the bat signal over Gotham, but those profiles aren’t really us. They’re digital representations of the person we want to be. A virtual foot in the water testing the temperature before we dive in, making it nearly impossible to see beneath the mask we show the world.
How can we separate the real from the fake, the wish from the reality, the man from the myth? How, with all there is getting in the way today, can we ever truly know someone?
Well, you can fight them. That’s what Seraph says in The Matrix Reloaded. “You do not truly know someone until you fight them.” But let’s assume that throwing hands is out of the question; what then? You can’t just ask someone about themselves and expect the truth, or stalk their perfectly curated Facebook wall for details. But you can workout with them.
For more than two decades, I’ve lived in a gym, coaching, training, rehabbing, learning and saving lives. I’ve seen the saddest stories turn triumphant, and watched the strongest of us cave under the pressure. I’ve met my best — in truth all — friends while training them or alongside them, and while it’s not fighting, it’s close. Take the guy or gal who regularly gets a workout in before the workday. These are usually the types of people who get the difficult (high paying) jobs because they’ll get them done. They do the hard things first. They deliver on a deadline. They are, above all, dependent. In the office, at home, and in the gym, it’s all the same to them. Get it done!
Navy SEAL, Jocko Willink, is known for saying “discipline equals freedom.” Imagine instead of asking someone to show you how disciplined (dependable, loyal, steady) they are, you could just experience it by sweating alongside them. I’ve seen it play out more times than I care to remember. The same guy who sets a million alarm clocks only to hit snooze until he’s too late to make the gym, is almost always the same guy who struggles at work, constantly fights with his spouse, and can’t relax. Coincidence?
The time of day you chose to workout, be it morning or evening, doesn’t really matter, of course. Maybe you’re just a night owl. What matters most, and what truly lets you know someone, is how they workout? After all, when it comes to life, it’s about effort, not attendance.
Someone who makes a routine of something important, but fails to give it the effort it requires, is fooling themselves and often attempting to fool others. Sure, they make it to the gym and make it look good in their story, but they’re just checking boxes, sauntering from exercise to exercise, never changing, never challenging, and ultimately, staying the same. And I can guarantee you, if they’re comfortable with go-nowhere workouts, they’re more than comfortable with go-nowhere careers, relationships, and lives.
Habits tell a story more honest than words. And few habits are quite as telling as healthy ones. The next time you need more than a Facebook profile or Insta stalk, take your new friend to the gym. They don’t have to be big, strong, ripped, or even coordinated. They just need to care about getting better at everything that’s important in life. And nothing is as important as health.
