Space And A Little Grace: How Jerry Seinfeld Keeps Crushing It
And he didn’t do it by beating himself up.
When you’re your own worst critic, you attribute any forward progress to the level of punishment you put yourself through.
But you never test this hypothesis, opening the door for one huge answered question; what if it’s this behavior that’s actually holding me back?
Jerry Seinfeld is one of the world’s most successful comedians. He’s nearly 70-years-old, has a treasure of achievements to his credit, and is still crushing it as a comedian today. And he didn’t do it by beating himself up, or others for that matter. He did it with grace.
“Even if to me it’s a four out of 10 show,” he says, speaking on The Tim Ferriss Podcast about getting on stage, “I still pat myself on the back for it.”
Think about that for a minute. That’s one of the most successful stand-up comedians of all time, walking away from a less than stellar performance and being alright with it. And it doesn’t stop there.
“It’s always a win,” Seinfeld continues. “If I got up there and tried to do it, I win, even if I didn’t reach what I’m trying to reach.”
Seinfeld’s tactic seems too simple, too relaxed to work. Until you understand that the BEE-Movie star’s real strength lies in the “space” for failure he encourages. A radical departure from those us with a paralyzing need for perfection.
Robert Wilson, an assistant professor of psychology and cognitive science at the University of Arizona, agrees.
“If you’re doing something and you are 100% accurate, you’re not going to be taking as much from that as a situation where you are struggling a little bit,” professor Wilson, says. “That’s the point at which you’re actually learning the most — struggling a little bit, but not too much.”
The fact that Jerry Seinfeld, a man of seemingly limitless achievement, gives himself room to breathe is refreshing. It’s also very telling. Has everything Seinfeld touched turned to gold? I don’t know for sure, but I doubt it. But does the comedian beat himself up over it? No, not even close. In fact, his whole thing is just to try.
“If you’re getting on stage and standing in front of a group of strangers and trying to make them laugh, God bless you,” Seinfeld says. “If you’re going to stand up there by yourself and try and make me laugh, I love you, and I’m not going to criticize anything you do beyond that. I’m not going to criticize it. And you shouldn’t criticize yourself either. “
Self-reflection and constructive criticism are tools that make us better. But like everything else, we can take it too far. And when we do, we deprive ourselves of the lesson only trying can teach. Like Hui Hai said,” Your me is in the way.” And until you give yourself space and a little grace, you’re stuck.
