Member-only story
Six Food Musts: Peanut Curl Elbow Care: Character Or Content?
I’ve spent decades since making sure I never feel that way again.
The tailor is fidgeting with a button on the front of my rental, trying to make the tent look like a Tux.
“This is the best we can do,” she says.
I look at the fancy mirror and admire its gothic style, its masculinity, everything but the reflection.
“It’s your … proportions,” she whispers.
I’m a little more than 20 years old, thinking how to break the news to my friend.
“Sorry, man,” I think, “better start looking for a thinner best man.”
“You can say fat,” I laugh. But inside, I’m not laughing. Not even close.
Lost, I take inventory. I workout like a wild man and have for many years. I’m the strongest I’ve ever been. I also eat a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream a day and some KFC for good measure — I gotta “bulk up!”